Lost
by xXTheRealJoker'sGirlXx
Summary: What happened if Mia left? Adam's POV. Oneshot. I own nothing, unfortunately. Rated T for language and suggestive themes. Please do enjoy! R


**Hey guys! XD This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle with the R&R. This is my alternate ending to If I Stay. This is from Adam's POV. Oneshot. Please, do enjoy! **

**Lost**

_No, no this can't be happening, _I thought as I heard the monitor alarm go off. I still held Mia's hand as I looked at the monitors and watched her heart rate plummet. "No, Mia please! I love you. Stay with me. "I cry out as the nurses and doctors swarm around her, pushing me out of the room. I can't help but cry as I get farther from her.

I watch as they use the defibrillator. _Mia, don't leave me here._ I willed my thoughts towards her and cry. _"1…2…3… CLEAR! " _I watched her body seize up and release, still motionless. I scream, "Mia!" and run back into the room, frantic to be by her side. "Mia, come back to me please…" I choke out through the sobs. A short female nurse rushed me out again and this time locked the door. I was at the mercy of the view from the window. _"1…2…3… CLEAR!" _Again, nothing

The doctors unplug the monitors and slowly shuffle out of the room. I'm unsure of when my legs give out and I hit the floor. My body was numb, just feeling the pricking needles all over my body.

I can't hear anything anymore. I've lost all sensation. I just look at that angelic face, wishing her eyes would open and she would run into my arms again.

I am just an empty shell, broken.

I slowly carry myself into the room and sit back down in the chair I was in before. I slump back and just look at her, watch her. I can't help but to look for her chest to rise and fall again. _Come on, Mia. Wake up. This can't be real. This isn't real, dammit. WAKE UP! _I can't help but to grab her hand and shake her body. "Wake up, Mia. You aren't gone. You can't be gone. Wake up, dammit!" I shake her harder and scream. I collapse against her, bawling uncontrollably. My head falls against her chest and I cry. I cry for God knows how long. _This isn't happening. My love, my muse, my Mia, gone._ I think to myself over and over again.

I eventually rise up and cup her face in my hands. I lean in and kiss her on the forehead for the last time. I lay my head back on her and slip into sleep, where my dreams consist of my brunette beauty, playing her cello and being alive with me.

I'm unsure of how long I sleep. One of the doctors, probably the coroner, shakes me to consciousness. "Come on, kid. We gotta move her." I can now feel her skin: cold. Tears pool in my eyes, making me remember everything. I get up and leave, casting a final look at the love of my life.

I storm out of the room. As I got closer to the waiting room, I could hear wailing and crying. I had completely forgotten about Mia's grandparents, Willow, and Kim. I finally reach the waiting room and I glance at them. They are in the corner, drowning in their sorrows. _I have to leave. I can't handle this._ I thought to myself. I practically race out of the hospital. Next thing I know I am hurling on the pavement of the parking lot. Throwing up the events of the day.

I recover and find my car. I climb in and put it in drive. I look down and see a bottle of Absolut in the car. I silently thank Mitzy and reach for it and unscrew the top. I start drinking from the bottle. The burning in my throat was excruciating, but I needed the pain. I needed to forget.

I pull out of the hospital and head down the road. I hit the radio, hoping that the music will give me a reprieve. "Comfortably Numb" plays through the speakers and I take more drinks.

I keep driving and try to drink away my problems, my pain. The burn becomes so inviting as the liquid fire runs down my throat. My vision began to blur. The car started to swerve, but I didn't care/

As the guitar solo begins, tears well up in my eyes and I lose all concentration of everything around me. I see two huge, bright lights heading towards me. I try to swerve out of the way, but it was too late. We hit head on, and everything went black.

I woke up in the snow. I get up and look around me. I see my car, totaled in front of a semi-truck. I look behind me and see my body, well, part of it. Then the realization hits me. _I'm dead._ I hear snow crinkle a bit behind me and I hear a soft voice, a voice I couldn't be happier to hear.

"Adam?"


End file.
